It's been a year.

Can't believe that a year has flown by since I last posted.

Here's to 2008. Here's to another start.

A quick highlight of what I've been up to in the last year. Well, not much, its been a lot of void and bloopers but I'll try to cover them up.

1. Got back to Soccer. After a decade or so. Found a pickup soccer club that plays Sunday morning. People don't believe that I used to be a highschool soccer superstar. May be they would if I didn't suck beyond reasonable doubt.

2. Visited India. After a long time. Was a lot of realization.
Some things never change - beautiful beaches with molaga bajji (fried flour battered hot green chillis - unhygienic but delicious), crazy traffic and crazier driving..
Some things change a lot - married friends, new malls, newer IT parks..
Stopped over London on the way home and Dubai on the way back. It was a real vacation.

3. Got a taste of Vegas. Someone told me that you had slots in the airport. I didn't believe then. Now I do. The amount of money exchanged, I mean donated in that short strip of land is amazing. I came to terms with the fact that gambling was not a good investment option after all.

4. Got a chance to peek at the Grand Canyon. Gives you a sense of security - the next time you think you are in deep shit, think about the deeper things in life and take solace.

5. Age went up. Again.

6. This new year sucked. Pretty much like the last one. For some reason a new year doesn't excite me. It illusions a mirage that things will get better. It reinforces your inability to keep resolutions.

Guru review.

I got a chance to watch Guru at the theaters – I like watching desi movies at the theaters and when it is a Mani production, its a double treat.

Saturday night, when I realized tickets were online at bollywooddc.com it was too late and I asked Ms. P who was at the theater to get tickets for me. By the time she found an ATM and came back to the counter it was house full. Damn.

Sunday around noon I had my tickets booked online for the 9 pm show. Got there at 8 to pickup tickets and there were about 60 people already on the line to catch the most optimum seats. Mr. S and I had to get dinner and as we strolled back saw 100s of people seated inside and also blocking 400s of seats for their relatives and friends who are jussssst on the way and jussssst in the parking lot. “This row all ours”- said a medium aged lady blocking an entire row in the middle section of the theater. Mr. S was agitated and wanted to fight. Only he didn’t.

Guru. Finally. I was excited.

The tale of a ruthlessly ambitious villager who rises to all from nothing by following his flare and passion. Becoming a bijinessman. All is fair in love and war. He plays business - his love, his war – as if there are no rules. He’s blind about his ambitions - sometimes pretentious, sometimes moving.

The first half is a lightning. Guru gets a chance to chase an average Indians’ dream of going to forin. Moves to Instanbul, works hard and makes his share of money. At his prime when he’s given triple the salary and a promotion, he declines it boldly and decides to go back to India with the dreams of making it big.

Things are not very favorable for a common middle-class man. Even his dad doesn’t support him. Guru kicks open the doors which don’t open up when he knocks at them. Challenges loudly and achieves silently. In a short period, multiplies his business by multitudes and rises fearlessly. Makes his identity, grows like nobody can stop him.

Along the way Guru takes some shortcuts to success and they are discovered and he’s put to trial. His mere existence becomes a threat. The remainder of the story revolves around how he takes on the world.

The movie concludes that

***may contain spoilers** (white text, select text with mouse to view)

Guru had to 'flow with the stream' to get where he was and it was not the best thing to do, but certainly the right thing to do. At one point, he marries Aishwarya for the dowry, so he gets the capital to his business. It may be hard to justify, but all said and done, he had more to give than to evade.

Ash adds color and Rahman spreads glitter. Somehow I think Ash is Asher in Mani's movies. Like in Iruvar, she was classy. Abhishek was terrific. Never before, probably never after. Rajiv Menon shines at cinematorgaphy.

Mani of course has signature moments like the train scene after Guru’s marriage. There’s a tingle of subtle comedy throughout.

It’s a nice story with a sharp screenplay. You can enjoy the movie more if you really try and believe the initial “All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental” message without any reliance, you know, on living and dead.

Rich cinematography, pragmatic storyline, stunning screenplay and gorgeous music make it a Mani classic once again. Guru will beg you to watch it again. Maybe again.

iPhone unveiled.

"I skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it has been" Steve Jobs quoting Wayne Gretsky, "Thats what we do at apple."

After all the rumors, buzz and creative prototypes released worldwide claiming to be the new Apple product codenamed iPhone, Steve Job released the "Apple Phone" at MacWorld 2007 yesterday.

It offers 3-in-1:
a cell phone, a wide-screen iPod with touch controls, and an internet communications device.

Apple's new invention (this phone has about 200 patents pending) still sticks to the basic two philosophies. Simple and creative.


I'm a bargain shopper. Tech or non-tech, paying the tag price hurts me. The phone costs $499 for a 4gb or $599 for 5gb phone. It costs half my Sony computer. Even I am considering putting my name on the list when the phone will be release in June 2007 in the US. Asia to wait until 2008.

Reasons for me my fantasizing.
1. The phone has one button. Apple always pushes the right button. They leverage on their strong touch sensitivity demonstrated in the iPods.
2. No stylus.
3. 3.5-inch 480x320 touchscreen
3. Real browser, Google Maps with traffic report, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, POP3/IMAP for Yahooo, iTunes of course
4. Pretty cool efficiency stuff like proximity sensor that dims the screen when the phone is in your ears, finger touch activates the touch pad but knows to ignore unintended screen touches.

And to get somethiing, you got to give something - this is what you give:
1. It is not a G3 phone, only old fashioned EDGE
2. Its not a smartphone in that if you are a heavy weight user of smart apps you are restricted to what Apple provides when you buy it.
3. Can't add memory, what you buy is what you get.
4. No battery replacement.
5. Pricy

Engadget has an awesome coverage of the release. Blogged live.

Apple iPhone page

A new phone is long overdue for me anyway, My Nokia 6800 is begging to retire. I might just buy it. Cos I am dieing to buy or my phone dies on me.

The crown and the frown.

Beauty is much over-rated. So was Miss Universe 2006. I wasn't even aware, did not care, until Ms. M introduced me to the event on Saturday. I was advocated on the opportunity of patriotism. Influenced, I decided to watch the grand finale. This decision meant I was willing to halt my LOST-1 marathon that was going on non-stop from Friday night.

It was going to start at 8 pm and I was all ready. Only a Spanish channel aired the preview and I was glued to the TV (despite the stupidest ads ever and audio that I had no clue of) just to catch the glimpse of our star participant. Miss India, Neha Kapoor. But they missed India and didn't show her at the preview!! What a disappointment. Bummer. *Frown* (this is where I stealthily make the title that rhymes count - its almost like this in IT. We invent a fancy acronym and then plug in the expansion). After this unruly act, all of a sudden a collection of pageants looked Indianish! In true spirit, I started extending support to sorta Indian looking babes Ms. Bolivia and Ms. Columbia while Ms. M totally disapproved it and accused me of being a traitor.

9 pm and the real show was on. There were a few learnings from the program:

1. New countries are being formed every day and beauty pageants are the most effective ways to announce it to the rest of the real world.
Quoting Ms. M, "St. Martin sounds more like a school than a country :p"

2. Starting this year, they allow laaaaarge costumes so you can legally block the view of 16 contestants behind you.

3. You can ALWAYS count on Ms. Venezuela.

4. Africa has more countries than you think.

5. The 800 diamond crown is worth $250,000.

6. You can send flowers to the pageant of your choice from $19.99 to $399.99

7. The Official Swimsuit Poster of Miss Universe 2006 is yours for just $5. No, I did not buy it. Not yet.

8. Beauty sells.

Overly under-rated hidden talents of India.

There's something we Indians are really good at. Coding. Ya, but take another guess. Slogging? Ya, but that's not what we are looking for.

Thank God we can copy-paste, at least the other continents can change their mindset that we are all about snake-charming, tiger taming, gorilla tickling, etc. People, there's more to India than what you see in the documentaries. And no, we don't go to work on elephants wearing a turban.

There's something else Indians are really good at but extremely underrated by the IT buzz. Eating! Yup, eating.

If you aren't Indian, do not underestimate your Indian lunch pals. They may just seem normal, regular people at the lunch table. Not by choice.

The equipment displayed here is what we carry food in - called tiffin carrier. Yes, you heard it right, not airline carrier or cellphone carrier, food carrier. We take food carrying very seriously. How the hell is this thing supposed to make it through the office security? Its kind of hard to convince that 9.25 layer tray (there is a small tray for 'achar' or pickles) full of colorful exotic ingredients contains food and food only, not a home beta project of a bomb maker.

Ok, if you find it hard to believe me, invite yourself to an Indian home. You are sure to find 279 varieties of spices, non-spices, more spices, natural flavors, rare botanical specimens, ground powders, leaves, bark, roots, stem, xylem and phloem of several extinct species of plants. You probably never heard of all these, but we grow them all in our backyard. A kitchen is nothing short of a factory. Our concepts of supply chain management and ERP start in the kitchen.

History talks for itself. Theres got to be a reason why the British East India Company, when they targeted India in 1600 (By far the only 'date' that I got right in my History papers. Luckily I was born on the 16th and I drew 00 under my shoes) laid hand on our spices. Not gold, not money. "How to take the Indians? Hit their most valuable asset. Food!"

I digress as usual. Now lets jump to specifics. Eaters in India can be classifies into 2: Southies and Northies.

South Indian Style

The early southies were very cliever. They realized that serving all the food we manage to produce at the food factory would take a platter of about 4 feet long and 2.5 feet wide and need about 30 lbs of metal (we don't like to import chineseware from China, we simply don't like them competing our population explosion initiative). This platter would also be impossible to store, wash and maintain - hence we resorted to leaves that grew bigger than the trees, plantains. The one size fit all solution to the platter problem. A few smart ass Southies did manufacture the platter. Later on they found use as armors in civil and barbaric wars.

What you see here is the first of several "laps" of food consumption exercise. Five "laps" of continuous eating is Southie's own version of work-out-as-you-eat fitness program.

The square meal is unheard of in India. Its either a humungous ellipse (refer the image above) or a mammoth circle (North India is coming right ahead). We only eat 9 to 13 times a day, depending on whether we are dieting or not. Every celebration is accompanied by the bandwagon of foods that need to be cooked to mark the occasion. Or the Gods would be angry, you know?

Our specialties are rice, rice and rice. We have invented some 1227 dishes that are rice based. From sweet to extra hot dishes. Whenever we invent a new recipe, it is immediately tested by mixing it with rice. Since Southie food is so complex, it is beyond the realm of what forks, knives and spoons can handle. So we eat with our hands, which upset the table etiquettes of a few hundred countries, but we don't care.

North Indian ISHtyle
(what, you North Indians can mock at our "Yumm" and "Yenn" and "Ellow"?)

Northies aren't to be underestimated either. Instead of rice, they chomp of tons of wheat. Lucky b@$#$#@% though. They eat a bit healthier than the southies.

They compensate their healthy lifestyle pretty well with their sweets loaded in ghee, cashews, sugar. A typical North Indian lunch food starts with a dozen desserts. Three dozen chappatis (wheat bread) or Naan (flour bread - the kind you get at Kabab places or Indian restaurants) with 20 side dishes and then ends with desserts again. Note that the picture here depicts 1/7 serving for one person only.

If you need to gain weight, you don't need to wait. Just go to a food festival in North India. These places are identified by Jigines weds Sonali. Its a never-ending explosive spread of food that immobilizes you for a few hours after you eat and perform a complete stress check of your digestive system.

So, thats the story. We don't like to display "Nutritional Facts" on our food products. Anything that comes in the way of invading huge quantities of delicious food without guilt is not tolerated. Furthermore, computing the calorie count in our foods would require a project with a lot of funding.

I love us!

The finding of Bachelor Cooking.

We have this potluck at work. The last time I had potluck I was in luck. My aunt and my cousin came to my rescue and made delicious Pav Bhaji and Chicken Tikka. It actually made me popular at work despite the bad reputation I had - hard earnt with my stupidity and practical jokes.

What do I do this time? Popular categories like cups, plates and sodas were gone before I could put my name on the intranet.

Oh ya, intranet. This time there was public humility at stake as well. Who invented this concept of potluck? I sigh.

After eons of deliberations and sleepless nights I found the magic.

Badam Kheer. Thanks to MTR.You got to love the recipe.

Badam Drink (Hot and Cold)

Add 2 tsp (about 15g) of MTR Badam Feast to 1 cup of hot milk (150ml).

Add sugar if desired.


Stir. Serve hot or chill the same for cold badam drink.


So I registered to bring Badam Kheer (Almond Dessert Drink, I proudly translated) and prepared 2 gallons and put it in the fridge. Other than minor "not really my fault" incedents like boiled milk spilling all over, paper towels catching on fire, discovery that aluminium foil is a bad substitute for funnel, etc. the preparation went on pretty well.

My dessert is chilling at home. Potluck is tomorrow. Now for the garnishing part. I search recipes for Badam Kheer for garnishing ideas. I bumped into this Indian cooking site which had several categories like breakfast recipes, chutney recipes, rice recipes etc. Much to my surprise I saw a category "Bachelor cooking".

If you are a bachelor, stuck up in an isolated place and missing your mom's cooking like anything, browse through this section for some quick and easy recipes. Yes, contrary to popular belief, plenty of bachelors around the world can whip up lovely delicacies in a jiffy, with whatever's available in the house. Conversely, many a married guy makes for the worst cook. However, bachelor culinary expertise is fast becoming an artifact these. days, thanks to frozen and take-away foods. Whatever be the ambience, check out these quick delights and have a rolling time.

Interesting!!

Reverse fashion.

Often times fashion repeats itself. Looks back in time.

My dad used to say "parallel" pants were reincarnations of good old (old, I get it, but good old?) "bell bottoms" and that fashion comes back at you after you dispose off your old-fashioned stuff. You buy the same thing again and the process repeats. Abercrombie for instance, I can never tell if its a new clothestore or an old warehouse. Unironed clothed, unneatly kept. At unrealistic prices. Thats when you know its new clothes. Or newest, because its fashion!!

Almost seems like technology is doing the dirty job again. How many old rotary dial phones do we still have at home? If you found one, it probably found its home mom's cupboard of useless things (where floppy disks, black school shoes from grade 3 through 11 times number of kids in the family, 386, 486, clothes that don't fit anymore but hoping the 20lbs holiday weight accumulated 6 years ago would melt away, overstocked free stuff, or even dad are sometimes stored) How about offices that have typewriters? If offices have one today chances are that they are government, bankrupt or museum - so lets give them a break.

Here they are - reinventing themselves again. What you see here: a cell phone and a keyboard. For only $499 you can get the cell phone. the ugly annoying ringing is included for free!!

From the inventors/freaks:

My wife suffers from repetive stress problems in her fingers and wrists. Sometime in October we were talking about different keyboards on the market for people such as herself. In the course of the conversation she mentioned that she finds old-fashioned mechanical typewriters much easier on her fingers because they offer gradual resistance rather than the feeling of moving through air then hitting a wall, like most computer keyboards. Ah-hah, I think to myself! At last I know what I will give her for Christmas. The first weekend after Halloween I went out and found an old Smith-Corona and got to work.

All you have to do is open the phone, insert your SIM card, and turn the unit on! The unit will utilize your phone number and account minutes. Phone dials out like normal through the rotary. Incoming calls ring the original, loud, gong style metal bells. Please note: As with all cellular phones, there is no dial tone.

The description reminds me of a friend who just came back from her vacation to India - "Your (cell)phone is not working. There's no dial tone!!"

Don't let those geeks be idle!

Red means go

One might wonder with characters like Ms. S, that girls have immense foresight and are always looking ahead. Except that Ms. S is an exception.

Scene 1:
You are on the passenger side and a girl is driving the car (and/or your fate, actually!!). Its all good, the car is cruising at 40s, nice music. What can possibly go wrong? Wait until you see a red light. So there is this red light staring at you. There's a reason they chose red. Its blaring, can't miss it, red is danger, right? You wish. This car has no intentions of stopping, steady, still at 40, like red means go. The surprise quickly translates into a shock. You go "Hey, hey, red, red, hey you.." *car breakkkkkkkkkkks*

"Oh I was looking at that next light, it was green.. hehhehee"

Scene 2:
Shopping mall, wildlife sanctuary, ship, prison, no matter where, as long as there is a door with a sign "DO NOT USE THIS DOOR." you can bet $90,000 or more that a girl will use that door. Or try hard to if its not cooperative. Its as if they suddenly they lose their 18 years of literary ability. They can't read.

Letters or colors. They can't read. Unbelievable! We tested this on 12,211 female subjects. 12,210 subjects demonstrated the above behavior. Oh, 1 was a guy dressed as a girl.

Note: If you are a girl and I don't open the door in front of you, its only because some experiement is in progress, not that I'm not gentlemanly.

The Geller effect

I have a "Monica type" friend. Ms. S. Of course she denies it but here are a few sample activities:

1. Her movies at home are arranged in alphabetical order.
2. Her clothes are organized in the order of rainbow color shades. I'm sure she's got one of those complex looking physics lab "-scopes" to maintain accuracy.
3. Most things she buys undergo initial antibacterial, antiviral treatments before use. Yes, we are talking about new things. Manufacturing facilities these days, you never know.
4. When you visit her you most probably get a complementary supply of germ-x and a napkins.
5. Recently she is researching on how cleaning products can be cleaned.

Reminds me of F.R.I.E.N.D.S,
Monica is vacuuming the carpet. Then she uses a handy vacuum to clean the vacuum machine and goes "If only they had smaller vacuums to clean this one."

You get the idea.

Ms. S' latest classic:
"I would bring you the DVD but I already packed it.."
"Oh you found a place? Where are you moving to?"
"No, but I started packing" (D'oh!! written all over her)

Other suggestions:
You can wake up before you sleep.
You can get off work before you go to work.
Etcetera. Etcetera.

(updated)
Spotted at Ms. S's:







Yellow sticky to Ms. S read..
"Now you wanna be Ross? What's with you and the Gellers?"

Note:
One may not trust me with my bad prior history of rare, mild exaggeration of things, but I swear this is true.

The French Head Butta Game

Zidane. From starred to barred.

One of the few players the world was watching this worldcup. Some men never get enough... and get famous the infamous way. Can't believe he ended his career that way.

Anyway, it was a treat for creative gamers. Check this out!!


http://www.addictinggames.com/zidaneheadbuttgame.html

Finest in fine print

Heard on radio a few weeks ago. After a commercial when they say the fine print stuff at the end.

Like "Zamestrica PM relieves pain from your dull head in milliseconds and gives you a good night's sleep so you can continue to have your nightmares. Zamestrica PM is proven to provide fastest relief. The money you pay for Zamestrica PM will give you so much pain and grief that the original pain feels like nothing!! Ask your doctor if you can try Zamestrica PM" You should not have Zamestrica PM if you have diahoerrea, cold sore or stinky feet. Side effects include losing hearing ability, losing balance, vomitting and in some cases dieing"

This was not after a Zamestrica ad, but some ad I did not pay attention to. End of it said "Life is precious." As part of fine print message. Sometimes we forget simple things in the mundane, fast track, busy lives we lead. We get older day by day and forget to realize the preciousness of life.

That message revitalized the fact that "Life is precious" and a moment to think. Sometimes the finest thoughts come out of a fine print.

Observed absurdity

Ok, here's a pet peeve I've been petting for a while.

Scene:

A meeting at work where the conference line is open.

Seen:

Admist heavy discussion whether it would rain heavily this weekend or would it be sunny.. Oops that was going on in my mind. I waver every time we have a meeting and I can't get enough from 8 people repeating the same thing 8 times. Well, I mean I waver every time we have a meeting.

Well the actual discussion was about "should we update something in one place or update something in both places". That's not important here. When someone says something seemingly important, the caller on the conference call goes "I can't hear you, can you speak up please?" and at least one person sitting by the phone relentlessly INCREASES THE PHONE VOLUME
ON OUR END".

I just don't get it. What does the person increasing the volume think in his head??

"I can't hear you"
(Increasing the volume) "Well, we can hear you, and now we'll hear you better now."

"I can't hear you"
(Increasing the volume) "Oh here we go, pushing up the phone volume increases the vocal chord pitch of every one in this room, how cool"

"I can't hear you"
(Increasing the volume) "Too bad for you, now at least you can hear yourself louder"

"I can't hear you"
(Increasing the volume) "Oh let me do a magic"

I am not kidding, I have observed this absurdity at least 11 times by 11 different people. Common sense like they say, is so uncommon!

Dude, wheres my car tags?

I am a practical guy. I am a funny guy. (This claim comes from the opposite gender treating this as a #1 quality in guys. Not good guy, not a teetotaler guy, but ya, funny guy. I was late to know that, not too late to evolve funniness in me) That gives me a lot of opportunity for practical jokes.





Alright, this was a few weeks ago. Had a busy day at work, I was listening to music and staring at the computer like I do every single day. My roomie, Mr. S shows up and goes "Why are your number plates on your bed?". Well thats a quality, more like a virtue, imbibed by years of religious ignoring of my dad's advise, warnings and orders to "keep things where they are supposed to be". Can't believe he used to say that. The world would be so boring, so predictable. Ridiculously ideal. No need to search for anything, no Google, no GMail, imagine??

Anyway, I tell him "Didn't you see the apartment notice near the mailbox?"
"What notice?"

"There was a notice for the residents. Yesterday someone stole the licence plates off 20 something cars"
Puzzled, "Wwwwwwhat??"

"You didn't glance at the other cars when you got off, did you? Everyone's walking around with number plates in their hand."
"No, I didn't notice"

"Hmmm, yes, so until they respond to this incedent by putting security into the apartment they advise us to remove the number plates and take it with us"
"Are they crazy? Who an earth will remove the licence plate when we get off the car? It's not the key to bring it with us when you get off.. Wait a minute, you are kidding, right"

"What kidding, they aren't kidding. They even quoted a clause from the lease by which the management is not responsibile for your car while parked in the apartment premises"
"What lease? What crap? These people are crazy I'm telling you. I am going to sue them. This place is hell."

"Well I took my tags off. You might want to take yours off, you don't want to be stranded tomorrow morning"
"Are you telling me I got to screw and unscrew every time I want to use my car, this is ridiculous"

"Up to you"
"Let me go and read the damn notice. How dare they..#^$%&@" mumbling and fading away as he walks downstairs.
Me goes ROTFL. I couldn't believe this guy buys my stories. Could not guess I changed my licence place from my moving from MD to VA.
Oh he's back from a quick fun trip to the mailbox "Damn it. Idiot. #$&*@^$&#"

50 paise presents Laddoo Shop

Oh I'm falling in love with this video. I think the venue of this shoot from the Patel Bros at College Park. This is probably a DC Desi team !!!

Google Calendar launched!

Google Calendar was launched tonight! In about a couple of hours, 1200+ diggs!

First looks, sweet. Google sails smooth and sells itself with its amazing usability. Few clicks and I'm convinced this is easier than Lotus Notes.