Cell phones that sell

Woohoo!! You thought cell phones were only to talk? To text message? To take pictures? To make vidoes? There's a lot more than that. You gotta see it to believe it!!

Machi machi too muchi!

Two kinds of people will benefit from this post.

1. Thamizh pesum nallulagam - "Tamil speaking fellas" will reassure themselves of their innate potential to tolerate the mass destruction and gang raping of every Newton's, Pascal's and Rascal's law by mass media. In the name of cinema. You identify and relate to the hero code-named "Captain". Seen that, been through that, but its never enough. Watch it one more time and get enthralled.

Be Proud.

2. Folks who have no clue what I am talking about. You never know what you have been missing all your life and previous births. Man, you just got to see it to believe it. Three never-before-never-after historic clips of our Captain's original talent have been hand-picked for your own viewing pleasure. Our own reply to Star Wars, Matrix and Spiderman put together. Presenting the best of "Captain" Vijayakanth for your viewing pleasure. With subtitles for global outreach. Fasten your seat belts.

Be Baffled.

Bonus material for Orkuters:
Includes kadhai, thiraikkadhai and vasanam in Thamizh for Captain's new movie ideas.
http://www.orkut.com/CommMsgs.aspx?cmm=736207&tid=5531050
http://www.orkut.com/CommMsgs.aspx?cmm=736207&tid=10324066

#1


#2


#3

Cop Car Crap.

Tuesday morning. I decide to leave office a bit earlier that usual. Sunny day and morning radio make me all excited. I cruise along the road and drive faaast so I can beat the signal light like I do every morning. That's when I spot a cop car. Copppppp. Reflex action couldn't function better. Instantly I apply the brakes and watch the dial in front of me. 60s, 50s, 40s, should be just about right, I hope.

Goddddddd, Godddddd, Crapppppp. Copppppp. The cop car takes off as soon as I pass it. I know the drill now, been through this "get caught and temporarily be careful" cycles 2 times. Red and blue blinks right before me and I stop. "Sir, you were stopped because you were driving at 57 in a 35 zone. Can I see your licence and registration?". Holy crap. That would be state #3 that gave me ticket for speeding. As he was writing me a ticket for some reason Chennai Police hainted my mind in a flash. Along with the instances where I carelessly swifted through them before they could get me. I'd know they are hiding behind Gemini flyover pillars to catch people who run the red light but the hero in me knew exactly how I must maneuver to get past them. Practiced. Perfected. Taking turns in a no turn area. Making U turns whenever I felt like. Changing lanes like nobody's business. Crossing red lights until it was physically impossible. If they wrote points for my offences like in the US, I would have got state first or something. I would have made my family proud for once.

I used to mock at their helplessness. What goes around, comes around. Life teaches lessons. I stare blankly at the ticket and listen to the officer say "Here's your ticket sir, drive safe". Damage is hundred and freakin forty and freakin five dollars. I am on "get caught and temporarily be careful" phase again. Damn.

Hello this is Chad Chowdary, how may I help you?

Friday night, all of your friends are out partying either becuase they are plain lucky or because you just suck. No one home, TV just does'nt do it tonight. What do you do? I don't know what you'd do but this is what I'd do. Call any damn Customer Service after 9 EST and if your insurance provider, cellphone operator, plumber or the cleaning lady is smart enough, the call will be directed to a few continents away. Hamara India.

Time to pick on our call center friends.

If you get serviced by the right guy or girl, you got free entertainment. Keep some stock of popcorn, pop and pizza. How often can you call your family and friends paying 12.9 freaking cents per minute? (0r 6.9 cents per minute for one way conversations) Here you talk to someone in India not necessarily family, but hey! make friends dude!

Ok, I don't do that every Friday night, but I could. This post is dedicated to this guy who I am holding on right now and many others whose primary aim in life is to entertain me from thousands of miles away. As it happens, this is a genuine call to straighten some of my car insurance stuff, but waiting till 9 EST was quite some match-fixing effort.

Some of the salient entertainment features of this call: (This salient word was such a doh! every exam had it and I just hated it)

1. I was placed on hold the first time so he can do some "research" on my policy information. That research took a while, here I am chatting, thinking and fishing for million dollar ideas and getting more hungry, I only hope his research went on well and he got his PhD degree out of that.

2. He came back to me and asked me the same questions he did when I first called. I perfectly understand that he had to make sure I was not drunk since I last spoke to him, sober, could recite the alphabet, recide poems and capable of giving the same responses each time I was questioned under scary and extenuating circumstances.

3. It made no difference to him that I had a Honda Civic. He just kept referring to it as Honda City all along. I am sure that was premeditated to make me feel 'at home on Indian roads'. It made me feeling like I was honked at from all directions.

4. After one of those "can I put you on hold so I can discuss this policy with my superior" (the closest I could think of is supervisor) expeditions, he came back and said "I have good news, Sir"and reported that the policy amount actually went up. Since when did money become a bad thing? You can start to feel happy when they rip you off.

5. There was this one problem he could not help me out with. He says he will give me a call tomorrow to discuss the same and asks for my number and best time to reach me. While he was at it, I'd so much appreciate if he can conference call my mom. I'll try asking him tomorrow.

It used to surprise me why they use American names and fake accent while we have our Indian signature underlined and bolded in our accents. Nowadays you hear the Indian names itself, Chowdary talks to you instead of Chad, Navneeta instead of Nate. Quite a relief. Think about it, we learnt English from the British, we do business with Americans, but we invented our own Indian English and stuck to it. Pretty cool.

This post is meant to be taken in the lighter sense only, no harm meant to anyone. If you still feel you have been hurt, just get over it, truth hurts ;)